|Toddlers and preschoolers can be a handful! According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, between 24 and 48 months of age your son is achieving lots of social and emotional milestones. With his newfound physical strength and skills, your little one will start actively exploring his environment, his personality and your limits. This period of time is a crucial for his development, but it can also prove challenging for a parent. At this early age, curiosity is accompanied by impulsivity and risky behaviors, determination comes along stubbornness, and independence can quickly shift into defiance.
Because toddlers can difficult, developmental psychologists have devoted a lot of research into how certain techniques or parenting skills can promote a happy and healthy relationship between moms, dads and their children. In 2005, researchers Liliana Lengua and Erica Kovacs from the University of Washington found that when parents used positive parenting tools with their preschoolers, over the course of one year this was associated with a decrease in irritability, defiance, fearfulness and rejection, and was correlated with an increase in both the child’s positive emotions and the caregiver’s acceptance and consistency.
According David Kerr, professor of psychology at Oregon State University, using positive parenting will not only make your life easier, but will also help your son’s social and emotional skills throughout his life. So, here are some ideas on how you can use positive parenting while enjoying your child’s preschool years:
|Twenty-five years ago, Doctor in Education Jane Nelsen published her book Positive Discipline and proposed that the key to teaching discipline to children is not punishment, but mutual respect. Today, her “firm and kind” approach to raising responsible, respectful and resourceful children is regarded as the golden guideline and is advised by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, PBS Parents, The Royal College of Medicine, the American Academy of Pediatrics and many other institutions and organizations.
Based on the book, here are some practical tips on how to implement positive discipline with your children and encourage their social and emotional intelligence:
If you want to dive into positive discipline and how to do it, you can find plenty of handouts by clicking on this link:
|In 1999, psychologist and researcher Matthew Sanders, from the University of Queensland in Australia, published an acclaimed paper in the journal Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review where he presented some of the first evidence of practical strategies and features parents can adopt to nourish their children’s social and emotional development.
Based on his findings, here are some evidence-based strategies of positive parenting you can implement with your preschooler:
If you want to read more and have more ideas about implementing positive parenting in your household, you can check out the following link:
|There are many reasons why a child might appear to be picky around food. Sometimes your son is just exploring how much he can push against the rules and limits you set, or maybe he really dislikes a specific taste or texture, or he finds that trying new things is difficult for him. This is especially true with children between 36 and 48 months of age because, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, around this age kids start eating more independently, using feeding utensils and drinking and pouring liquids from open cups.
For this article, we’ll give you some ideas on how to encourage your little one to venture into tasting new foods, while also respecting his efforts for stating independence and autonomy at the dinner table:
• Model eating a wide variety of healthy foods.
|Between 2 and 4 years of age, among all the amazing milestones your daughter is reaching, chances are you have already encountered a dreaded marker of your little one’s social and emotional development: defiance.
The experience of being a toddler or a preschooler is filled with curiosity, imagination and also an increasing need for autonomy and exploring boundaries. With a still developing prefrontal cortex, you can imagine how, being a young kid in a world of grown-ups, she enjoys and is happy to assert all the power and control she might get her hands on. At times, parenting a small kid can be very frustrating, especially when confronted with a continuous stream of no’s, but if you think of this behavior as your daughter’s way of exploring her newly found independence you will be able to respond in a nurturing way that will continue to encourage growth, autonomy and exploration. Here are some tips on how to do so:
• Think “what’s the message that my child is trying to communicate by saying no?”. Your child is not being defiant in order to frustrate you, she is trying to express something.
|As developmental psychologist Erick Erickson stated half a century ago, a big part of a child’s social and emotional development during the first years of life is the struggle of navigating both dependence and autonomy. As he moves into his toddlerhood and preschooler years, your child is experientially exploring the concept of “personhood” and working hard at establishing himself as an independent individual.
Beyond knowing his name, age, dislikes and likes, developing autonomy requires your son to venture into stating that he is entitled to feelings and opinions that might not only be different from your own, but might also be in conflict with your wishes. It’s here where you might feel like you’re stranded in the “no-land” alongside your kid.
Because cognitive development is still in its early stages, between 2 and 4 years of age kids are just starting to think of the world in categories and concepts, and they begin by seeing things through the binary “yes-no”. Also, even though your kid’s language skills have undoubtedly developed a lot by now, they are still in their early stages and aren’t of much use when your little one tries to communicate with you. For a preschooler, saying “no” is far more reachable than explaining in long sentences and complicated grammar that those socks you insist on putting on him are actually very itchy.
Being able to express disaccord is a fundamental part of human experience, just as it is noticing the differences, see similarities, think abstractly, generalize, arrive at new conclusions, build bridges between us and create new things. When your child says “no”, he is beginning to problematize things, assert independence and individuality through language, thus opening up many more developmental doors.
|Beyond parental curiosity, for decades, the question of when, why and how children develop self-awareness has been a crucial inquiry for developmental psychology. In the book The Interpersonal World of the Infant, published in 1985, psychologist and researcher Daniel Stern drew conclusions from his experiments with infants and toddlers and presented the first evidence of self-awareness in young children.
In one of his behavioral experiments, he placed children between 12 and 30 months of age in front of a mirror, and marked, without the child noticing or being aware of a mark, the kid’s faces with rouge. When in front of the mirror, he observed that kids younger than 18 months old appeared to be unaware that what they had in front of them was their own reflection. In the other hand, most kids beyond the eighteen-month mark, when they saw the paint in their reflected face, they immediately touched the mark on their faces instead of the mirror. Thanks to his findings, we now know to expect important changes in self-awareness between 2 and 3 years old.
There are many ways in which your child might show her increased self-awareness. For example, when she starts to use pronouns to refer to herself, when she states what she likes or dislikes, or when she shows personal preferences towards clothes, food, animals or characters, when she starts using first names to refer to people she knows, including herself, and, further in her socio-emotional development, when she starts showing interest in friendships and adventure into sharing toys and showing empathy.
|When we talk about children’s self-awareness skills, we are referring to their capacity to know themselves and, based on that knowledge, evaluate and respond appropriately to different personal and interpersonal situations. Thanks to self-awareness we know what we like, dislike, how were prone to react in certain situations, and how best to self-regulate our emotions and thoughts. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, these skills start developing around toddlerhood and continue to do so until adolescence and young adulthood, when a person’s personality settles a bit more after lots of self-exploration.
How having good self-awareness skills will help your child:
Because we constantly need to use our self-awareness skills in a myriad of different situations, and these skills lay the groundwork for many other social, emotional and academic aspects of development, it’s important to help your kid develop her self-awareness skills. Your little one will reap the benefits of this throughout life.
|As your child transitions from toddlerhood to his preschooler years, you’ll notice, among other things, important changes in his self-awareness skills. In other words, he will be able to say and understand the meaning of his first name, age and sex, as well as having a better understanding of his likes and dislikes. Your child’s self-awareness skills are what, in the future, will allow him to understand that he is a whole, unique and independent person with thoughts and feelings. This set of skills is essential for developing and maintaining relationships, and to lead healthy and happy inner lives.
According to 1991’s seminal paper on how children develop the concept of selfhood, published by Harvard’s professor Jerome Kagan in the journal Developmental Review, self-awareness refers to a person’s realization that he or she is a distinct human being, with body, mind and actions that are separate from other people’s. Approaching 4 years of age, children work on developing their autonomy, as stated in the stages of psychosocial development proposed by Erick Erickson during the 1950’s.
Here are some tips on how you can help your kid develop self-awareness skills:
|For preschoolers, learning to share is challenging and marks an important developmental moment in their social and emotional growth. During childhood, sharing is a capacity that kids need to have in order to play and learn, but they need your help in building the relationship and emotional intelligence skills required to do so.
Because sharing can be hard for children around 3 or 4 years old, it’s a skill that’s usually developed until a child starts going to childcare, kindergarten or until they start having playmates. According to the Raising Children Network, kids need to learn to share in order to make and keep friendships, because sharing helps them understand fairness and compromise, as well as learning about tolerating frustration, being patient and trusting others.
Here are some ideas on how you can encourage your preschooler to build his relationship skills by learning to share: