pregnant woman and partner with a notebook

Nurture your relationship

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“Let’s say you want to make a vegetable garden. You prepare the soil, plant the seeds and water it. You stand back and look proudly at what you’ve done. It looks all set to produce the bounty you’re hoping for. But what if you don’t pay attention to the garden for a few months and come back thinking, ‘Ah, I’m ready for those ripe tomatoes now’. What will you find? A lot of dead or dying plants.” Bento Leal wrote this as an analogy of a relationship, meaning that if you take things for granted, it can easily fall apart.

Pregnancy is the time for your body to nurture and prepare your little one’s arrival to the world. It’s also a time when you can take advantage of and prep your relationship for the major change its about to go through.

Becoming a mom is certainly a huge change. You’re probably more tired than you used to be and are flooded by different emotions every hour of every day. It may happen that your partner is looking or hoping for some intimacy when all you want to do is sleep. Sometimes it’s easier to avoid an uncomfortable conversation, ignore the problem and let it be for the night. The problem is when that becomes the rule and not the exception.

The best thing you can do for your growing family is to ensure that every problem is solved from its root. Meaning, no more avoiding issues but facing them head-on. When the opportunity to talk about something arises, try the following tips to ensure that you say what you need to say and the other person listens and understands:

1. Organize your thoughts before you speak. No blurting out the first thing that comes to mind in the heat of the moment.
2. Respect is key. Choose your words, your tone and your body language correctly.
3. Be clear on what you want or need. Don’t leave space for the other person to fill in the blanks, and don’t believe the other person will read your mind and know what you expected from them.
4. Pause and listen. Make time in between arguments for your partner to react and respond to what you’re saying.

Disagreements will rise when it comes to raising a baby, and practicing the proper communication skills with your partner can create an environment where support is always present and there’s no problem the two of you can’t handle together.


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