The importance of “being there”

Amidst all the chaos and our frantic day to day, it’s easy to lose sight of one of the most important things in early childhood development: being there. From numerous studies, we understand that in order to have a healthy brain development in babies and toddlers, they need a stable, responsive and supportive relationship with a parent or caregiver.

As a parent who’s fully devoted to their child’s well-being and development, you’re acting as a buffer for any potential stressful situation at all times. If a child is subjected to massive amounts of stress or unreliable, absent adult relationships, his or her developing brain architecture may be disrupted, and, with it, the subsequent physical, mental and emotional health may also be affected. We’ve put together a few of the most important aspects and questions out there about the concept of “being there”.

What is a “serve and return” interaction?

“Serve and return” interactions shape brain architecture. Each time your baby babbles or cries and you respond just by looking at him or her, giving a hug or a soothing word, your baby’s neural connections related to the development of communication and basic social skills are built and strengthened.

Will occasional lapses in attention to my baby harm his or her development?

Intermittent diminished attention in a responsive environment is no cause for concern. In fact, some researchers even suggest that these common changes in responsiveness, due to being a modern day parent, help your baby develop his or her sense of “self” and work towards greater independence and self-care.

Is absolutely all stress harmful for my baby?

Low levels of stress or short-lived stress are not serious when buffered with supportive relationships and environment. The type of stress you should watch out for is the prolonged stress. The constant activation of the body’s stress response system can be toxic to the brain and other developing organs. This type of stress is common in chronic or traumatic experiences such as chronic neglect, separation from parents or even repeated conflict.

How can I foster “serve and return” interactions with my baby?

  1. Notice the “serves” your baby throws at you throughout the day. Pointing at something or making a sound or a face, are all forms of “serves”.
  2. Return his or her “serves” with kind words, a hug, any sign of acknowledgment.
  3. Give the “serve” a name! Help your baby start to develop important language connections in his or her brain by naming what he or she sees, does and feels.
  4. Keep the “serve and return” interaction going back and forth. Each time you return a serve, give your baby a little time to form his or her response. This exchange will start to teach your baby basic social skills.

There’s plenty of information out there you can consult anytime, after all, we now know it’s all in the little things! Remember to visit Kinedu for plenty of fun ideas you can do with your little one to help promote “serve and return” interactions and help strengthen the bond between you!

3 thoughts on “The importance of “being there”

  • By Reyna - Reply

    I really liked this article! It is, indeed, very important to being there for our children/baby.

    Thank you for this publication!
    Looking forward for the next one!

  • By Lena - Reply

    I’m a little surprised that this article did not go further and explicitly connect “occasional lapses in attention” to our society’s complete addiction to cell phones. Distracted, tech-addicted parenting is going to have horrible consequences for our kids. Look around. Parents are “playing” with their kids with cell phones in their hands. The best thing I ever did for my daughter was get a flip phone. My brain has detoxed and I am much more “there” than I ever was when I had a cell phone constantly drawing me out of the moment.

  • By Julie - Reply

    So prolonged stress of the type that can cause damage to the brain and other organs can be caused by separation from parents. This is exactly what the Trump family separation policy is doing to innocent little children. An abominable policy. What kind of person treats babies that way?

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