We tend to overlook social-emotional development when it comes to observing our baby’s overall development. We take a closer look at motor milestones and worry about their future IQs. However, emotional stability and the ability to control and detect feelings is arguably a better predictor of success.
If this argument does not seem convincing, let’s recap a study that was conducted a few years ago. In his now famous marshmallow experiment, Walter Mischel studied delayed gratification with 4 year-olds. The children were given a marshmallow and told that they could eat it now or wait until the experimenter came back 15 minutes later, in which case they would get another one. Some kids were unable to control their impulses, while others although struggling and closing their eyes to avoid temptation, were able to wait for their reward. Further studies found that the performance on this marshmallow test predicted success at the end of high school more accurately than their IQ scores at that time. Those that had impulse control later did better on their SAT scores than those that were more impulse driven. They were more conscientious and better socially adapted. Thus, all the intelligence in the world will not be as effective if a child lacks emotional intelligence.
There are other parts of the limbic system that take long to develop such as structures associated with memory storage. This explains why most babies won’t really remember early experiences. Memory and emotion are anatomically linked, this is largely explained through evolutionary psychology. It is beneficial to remember something that is emotionally impacting. For example, babies recognize faces that caused them harm versus those that had a positive impact. They create an association and thus learn to avoid certain people and situations. If there is an inconsistency in this learning phase, they will likely fail to develop confidence and emotional security. Even if the child does not consciously remember a painful or fearful situation, his lower limbic system does store this emotion and the person associated with it. This is evolutionarily advantageous for development.
Our social and emotional development are crucial and they impact our future success. That’s why it is important to take a closer look into it and understand its bases in order to take advantage of the possibility to harness this limbic molding with sensitive parenting. The limbic system is the brain structure that is involved in motivation, emotion, learning, and memory, it takes into account our innate temperament and our moldable personality. As I mentioned before, the limbic system also processes our memories, and our emotions related to them are intrinsically tied. It’s a complex aspect of our development– that since an early age contains the beginnings of who we are.