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How can I find out my partner’s love language?

pregnant woman and her partner

You’ve probably noticed that your relationship and family dynamics have taken a 180º turn in these past few months. Having a baby has its way of shaking up your relationships. If you’re new to parenthood, the transition from the honeymoon phase to the world of diapers can be a bit challenging.

Preparing your relationship for this big change is as important as preparing your house or your body for the arrival of your baby. Between diaper changes and late night feedings, taking time for intimate moments with your partner gets pushed to the bottom of your list.

In spite of all the chaos, making time for each other is important. A great way to keep your connection alive is to understand your partner’s love language. Based on Gary Chapman’s book, “The 5 Love Languages”, this theory tells us that we all speak different languages when it comes to love. And we’re not talking about French or English, but about the ways we express and perceive affection from others.


These are the 5 love languages:

  1. Quality time: feeling loved when your partner gives you their full attention (for example, no cell phones during dinner).
  2. Acts of service: valuing those little things your partner does for you (like doing the laundry or cooking for you).
  3. Words of affirmation: expressing and feeling love through compliments and kind words.
  4. Gifts: feeling loved when surprised with a thoughtful gift (it’s not about the price, it’s the gesture that counts).
  5. Physical touch: demonstrating love through physical acts like hugs, caresses, kisses, hand holding, etc.

Everyone has different ways of expressing love, and different needs when it comes to how they want to receive affection. Have you already discovered your partner’s love language? If you haven’t yet, now is a great time to find out!

Start a conversation about this with your partner and talk about each other’s needs and expectations. Include that special love language in your day to day, and you’ll see how the bond between you grows stronger. Love is about speaking the same language, even in the midst of chaos!

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